The biggest preparedness challenge some of us will ever face has nothing to do with gear, food storage, or bug-out routes. It’s convincing the people sitting across the dinner table to take any of it seriously.
Whether it’s a spouse who thinks you’ve lost the plot, teenagers who tune you out, parents who survived the Depression and figure they’ve seen worse, or friends who smile and nod and then do nothing — getting the people you love on board with preparedness planning is its own skill set. And it matters. Because a plan that only one person in the household has bought into isn’t really a plan. It’s one person trying to drag everyone else through a crisis while managing their own fear.
This isn’t just about your preparedness. It’s about theirs. And in a real emergency, you cannot be everywhere at once.
Why People Push Back — and Why It Matters That You Understand It
Before you can have this conversation effectively, you need to understand why most people resist it in the first place. It’s not stupidity and it’s usually not stubbornness. It’s psychology.
Preparedness requires people to sit with an uncomfortable truth: that bad things happen, that systems fail, that the government and emergency services may not be there when you need them. Most people have built their daily sense of security on the assumption that those things won’t happen to them — or that if they do, someone official will handle it. Preparedness asks them to question that assumption. That’s threatening, even when it’s true.
There’s also the cultural baggage. Thanks to a decade of reality television and fringe media coverage, “prepper” carries associations that most normal people want nothing to do with: bunkers, tinfoil hats, the end of the world. When you bring up preparedness without framing it carefully, you’re fighting that image before you’ve even started.
The approach that works is the one that removes both obstacles: it makes the emotional cost of engaging lower, and it strips away the fringe associations by grounding everything in events that have already happened and threats that are already documented.
Talking to Your Spouse About Preparedness
This is the most important conversation to get right, and the most common one that goes wrong.
The worst approach is leading with your worst-case scenario. Opening with a long-term grid-down collapse or a societal breakdown is a guaranteed way to shut the conversation down before it starts. Even if that’s what you’re ultimately preparing for, it’s not where you begin.
Start with what’s already accepted. Your spouse almost certainly already agrees that having home insurance, car insurance, and health insurance makes sense. None of those exist because you expect disaster — they exist because you’re not willing to bet everything on disaster never happening. Preparedness is the same logic extended to a different category of risk. You’re not predicting catastrophe. You’re buying an insurance policy against it.
Make it local and personal. Abstract threats don’t move people. Real events do. Look at your region’s actual history — the ice storm that knocked out power for a week three years ago, the hurricane that flooded the next county, the wildfire that forced 10,000 people out of their homes two states over. Disasters that feel hypothetical until they’re not are the ones that get dismissed. Disasters that feel close to home get taken seriously. Use your local threat assessment as the foundation: these are the things that have actually happened where you live.
Start with the small, non-threatening stuff. Don’t open with the bug-out bag or the 6-month food supply. Start with a two-week supply of food and water — something FEMA explicitly recommends and something no reasonable person can argue with. Once that’s in place, the next step is a natural extension of the first. You’re not trying to win the whole argument in one conversation. You’re shifting the direction of thinking.
Bring them into the planning. A plan that’s been handed to someone is far less compelling than a plan they helped build. Ask your spouse what they’d want to have on hand if the power went out for two weeks. Ask what they’d want the kids to know if they couldn’t reach them immediately after an emergency. People defend what they helped create.
Talking to Your Kids About Preparedness
Kids are often more receptive than adults — and more capable than most parents give them credit for — as long as the conversation is calibrated to their age and framed around empowerment, not fear.
Keep it age-appropriate and simple. You’re not trying to explain geopolitical collapse to a nine-year-old. You’re trying to make sure they know what to do if a fire starts while they’re home alone, where to go if something happens at school and you can’t reach them, and how to call for help if a family member is hurt. Those are concrete, actionable things that apply right now and have nothing to do with worst-case scenarios.
Build situational awareness as a habit, not a lecture. The most valuable thing you can give a child in terms of safety isn’t a piece of gear — it’s the habit of paying attention to their environment. Point out emergency exits when you’re in stores or restaurants. Ask them “what would you do if…” questions during normal life. Developing their situational awareness early turns it into a reflex rather than a thought. Kids who grow up thinking this way don’t need a survival lecture — they’re already doing it.
Use everyday experiences as teaching moments. A camping trip teaches fire-making, water sourcing, navigation, and shelter without anyone calling it preparedness training. Going camping is one of the most effective ways to build practical skills across all ages while making the activity something the family actually enjoys. Cooking from scratch teaches food literacy. A garden teaches where food actually comes from and how long it takes to grow. None of these require an end-of-the-world framing.
Involve them in drills. Running a home fire drill doesn’t traumatize children — it gives them confidence. Knowing what to do removes fear. The kids who are scared in emergencies are the ones who have never practiced. The kids who have run the drill before know exactly what the next move is. Running regular preparedness drills as a family normalizes the concept and turns abstract planning into muscle memory.
Talking to Extended Family and Friends
This conversation is different because the stakes are different. Whether or not your sister-in-law is prepared doesn’t directly affect your family’s survival in the way your spouse’s buy-in does. But there are two compelling reasons to have it anyway.
The first is that you care about them. If a regional disaster hits and they have nothing — no water, no food, no plan, no communication — that’s a bad outcome that was potentially avoidable.
The second is more practical: if a serious crisis hits and your extended family and friends have no preparation, some of them are going to show up at your door expecting help. That creates a real problem if you’ve planned for four people and eight show up. The best way to manage that problem is to help the people you care about get to a point where they don’t need to show up on your doorstep.
Use current events as the entry point. When a hurricane hits, when a wildfire forces mass evacuations, when a major city loses power for days, those events do more to open the conversation than anything you could say proactively. Don’t lecture. Just ask what they would have done. The question is more powerful than any argument.
Give them something tangible. A vehicle preparedness kit, a quality first aid kit, or a good survival book given as a gift is a non-threatening way to introduce the topic and put something useful in their hands. It’s hard to argue with a thoughtful gift. It’s also something they’re likely to actually look at, and that creates an opening for further conversation later.
Use FEMA’s recommendations as social cover. For the family members who won’t take anything seriously unless an official source says it, FEMA’s guidance — 72 hours minimum, two weeks ideally — gives you legitimate institutional backing. It’s not conspiracy theory. It’s what the federal government’s emergency management agency tells Americans to do. That framing removes a common objection.
Don’t oversell it. The moment a conversation about practical preparedness veers into territory that sounds extreme, you’ve lost people. Talk about the realistic scenarios: a week-long power outage, a severe winter storm, a job loss that wipes out income for a month. These are the scenarios that affect far more people than any large-scale SHTF event, and they’re the ones that are most likely to actually happen to the people you’re talking to.
OPSEC: The Problem With Telling Too Many People
There’s a practical risk in getting too many people on board with your preparedness plans, and it’s worth naming directly.
The moment people know you’re prepared, they know where to go when they’re not. In a minor emergency that’s not a problem — extra people bringing extra hands can be an asset. In a serious, prolonged crisis with resource scarcity, it becomes a genuine security concern. People you’ve told about your food storage, your generator, your bug-out location — well-meaning people, people you trust — may make decisions based on that knowledge that complicate your situation significantly.
Think carefully about what information you share with whom. Encouraging people to prepare for themselves is different from detailing your own preparations to a wide circle. The first solves the problem. The second creates a different one.
When You’ve Done What You Can
No matter how carefully you approach this, there are people who are never going to get on board. Some because they truly don’t believe it’s necessary. Some because the psychological cost of accepting the premise is too high. Some because they’ve made a decision that whatever happens, they’ll deal with it then.
That’s their choice to make. You can inform people. You can give them resources. You can frame the conversation a dozen different ways. You cannot make decisions for other adults, and trying to do so usually damages the relationship without changing the outcome.
Do what you can, say what needs to be said, and then focus your energy where it actually makes a difference: on your immediate household and the people who are with you in this.
The goal isn’t to convince the whole world. It’s to make sure the people who matter most to you aren’t starting from zero when things get hard.
I just started prepping, My wife thinks I’m insane but when you look at the headlines, ISIS, Ebola, wide open border, threats from countries that see our weakness, etc I think it’s insane not to prep. I went to new Orleans with the National Guard for hurricane Katrina and I saw first hand what it looks like when a major city completely shuts down. No power, no water, sewers backing up, extreme heat, criminal gangs looting, criminal cops looting and taking advantage of their authority. D
Hungry dogs began running in packs, which was crazy!
This was the worst case scenario and I saw it first hand, most people were no prepared even a little bit. I wish I could make my wife and family understand but I don’t think they will until it happens to us.
most people i have talked to about prepping dont give a toss , i did put a few posts on facebook , and no interest !!!! , so just look after myself
WOW…I get it, same here! What I worry about the most is Pole shift issues, I really don’t know what to think myself, but since I’m young I’ve been researching, attending conferences, its almost as if i’m getting ready for something..I always had the feeling one day we’ll be running for our lives! I was very young as a child and followed me all my life..since there’s more talks about Niburu or Planet X, just looking at natural disasters, how the wind has changed, so much stronger winds, rain lots of it…I mean It’s getting hard to ignore..anyways just wanted to say I hear yeah, I get it, I’m with you on it…I’m looking for survival communities, build off the grid as communities, stronger in numbers..something to think about..tks Sylvie, Toronto, Ontario Canada
You need to rent a storage locker for your supp,lies and guns. Your wife has already “shared” with her friends, who have “shared” with there friends, who——-
I likely the analogy of boiling the frog. Yes it can be a good thing:) You have to start slow. Little bits of info, clever gifts. Not just gifts actual prepps. Christmas is a golden opportunity. Don’t buy them electronic junk. Who knows once they get the bug they may even want to go to the range with you.
I’m another one of those trying to prepare, with a wife that thinks it’s nuts. In fact every time I bring it up she looks at me like I have 3rd appendage growing out of my forehead. My 2 older kids (18 and 21) they understand it. I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to try to prep when your spouse is resistant to it. At the end of the day though I just go ahead and do it anyway, she knows I’ll do what I decide regardless of what any one says. Besides it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission. One thing I’ve done from time to time is sell some things as camping equipment, though that’s starting wear a little thin with her too.
Dead weight! Get rid of her! ;)
John, you are an idiot! Joe, call your family together and have them sit around the table. Dust off your Bible…yes, the Bible…and open it to the book of Genesis, chapter 41 and verse 25. Read aloud the rest of the chapter and then explain to your family that you are trying to be the best husband and father you can be, with God’s help, even if no desaster ever comes upon them. Then sit there quietly and let the Scriptures sink in. No argument. God doesn’t need you to defend Him. It is biblical, and it is honorable!
Yes it is honorable. I am a Christian as well and believe that it is important to read the Bible and prepare for what is going to happen. It might not be as far away as you think, if you know what I mean.
Your wife thinks you are a fool for prepping. If you don’t prep, or don’t prep enough, and something happens that will be your fault too. Women are incapable of rational thought.
George, Your comment stating, “Women are incapable of rational thought.” is extremely ignorant and wrong! Regroup and try again!
First and foremost, this is a great resourceful website! I’ve been thinking about the subject for a few years now and made the decision to prep about 4 months ago. My wife is interested in public health issues and disaster preparedness, so she doesn’t think I’m totally crazy when I bring up the subject. I am very cautious about bringing the subject up to family, friends, and neighbors, and co-workers. We maintain a basic food and water supply with core essentials but have invested pretty extensively in a bug out bag and have an evacuation plan if SHTF in our urban environment. We love city life, but acknowledge that it is not sustainable during a disaster. Survival and preparation will certainly be factored into our next home buying decision.
I find it so ironic about you husbands with non-prepping wives. I am a prepping wife with a husband that thinks I’ve went off the deep end.
Learner, don’t I know it! My husband seems to be slowly getting on board, and my family just seems like they are humoring me at times, but they DID buy me prepping supplies for Christmas, so maybe I am getting through. My main issue is being able to physically move, store, plant, harvest, build etc after being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia :( I NEED their help, so I will continue to educate them as best I can!
Amen sister here too. All of my family thinks the same. Every now and then my husband will say well maybe it’s good. But way to far between. He thinks something could happen but not in our life time. But like I tell him it’s for the grandkids. He has gotten to where he doesn’t say anything when I buy my preps which is normally 2 times a month. Hope we never need it. Peace, Faith and Love.
Sometimes words get in the way. Your actions are the best form of communication. Gardening is something people have done since the dawn of civilization. You don’t have to have an excuse because you’re decided to plant tomatoes. When your harvest is so abundant that the family can’t eat it all, the next logical step is to preserve it to be consumed at a later time. No one thinks much about something they see all the time. The things you do are just what you’re into. Sewing your own clothing is not extraordinary. Children naturally want to learn. So you start teaching them how to do for themselves. Let them plant some strawberries and watch them come alive. When they put that delicious berry in their mouth that came from the plants they put in the dirt a new recruit is born. Give them a chance to help you in the kitchen while you prepare their food from scratch. The same goes for spouses. Get them involved, even if it’s just as a consumer. I plant fruit trees where ever I live. Long before I ever heard the term survival or prepper I learned from my parents who always had fruit trees and berries. My Dad picked out a little spot in the yard and planted lettuce and other things for a salad. It wasn’t a big production. We still went for groceries at the supermarket. But I learned from seeing it done, that just about anything can be repaired. I learned to take care of what I had. I learned that quality is more important than quantity in most cases. I learned to survive, and to prepare without words. I think that’s the best way to teach, just live it.
You make some excellent observations and ideas. Agree sometimes it is best to just provide a living example; actions often are louder than words. In addition to this, how would you personally awaken a family member who remains steadfast in their denial of reality? Thank you.
At first my Wife was not too concerned with being prepared. Over time though after bringing it up in certain ways, its mostly communication and don’t get all up in arms if they don’t immediately jump on board, finesse is key. The way I approached it first is from the natural disaster aspect, it’s unpredictable and we all experienced power outages at some point in our lives, and the outcome is usually purchasing a generator. So I let her know that for natural disasters FEMA recommends two weeks of food and water and has been known to say up to three months, but little steps first. So with a credible source FEMA (I guess) but that’s ok, what ever it takes, so she was more relaxed with me getting some extra things when we go food shopping. Over the next few months introduce slowly survival shows, like Alaskan bush people, or Live free or die, those are reality shows, but who cares, it puts the mind in a certain mind set and she, while not fully as interested as I am, is more understanding and feels a comfort that we are doing this for the whole family just in case. Would I like more stuff faster, YES! but I can also have patience, that goes a long way. Next on the list is a firearm, and that talk has gone over much smoothly since watching those shows. B from CA, I like the gardening aspect, we are going to have a full garden come this spring. I like to grow hot peppers the really hot ones like ghost chili. Also I am starting with blueberries and peaches. Another good thing is to know the wild plant life in your area, I point these out to my 4 yr old and she knows how to identify at least four different wild edible plants and has eaten them with me.
One thing concerns me greatly. OPSEC (operational security). Whenever I talk to loved ones who scoff at the idea of prepping, I am often told “I know where I’m coming if desaster strikes”. I don’t want to tell them to stay away or they might get shot, especially if it’s the Pastor.
Tell them that the chances of them even being able to get to your place are next to nil. And tell them that you already have family coming and wouldn’t have room for more than what you have planned for, so that is why they should plan for themselves. Just a thought….
Its hard convincing friends, but recent events helped, and the government warning on the “Big One” a forecast of an earhtquake that may hit us when a major fault traversing our metro moves. To help develop awareness in my family, I oriented my kids first, involving them in more fun activities like camping, eventually making them aware of its disaster preparedness use. Now they are well informed, my son now is a volunteer in the local red cross. I took this as an advocacy, putting up an FB page, Third World Prepper and Survivalist and Urban Preppers.
I agree about disaster prep. l plan to start the “talks” with fam on a new level soon. As of now, everyone from my mom to my 13 yr old daughter is sure that I believe/have at least a few “un-realistic conspieracy theories”. Thanks for above advice, option to start slow, without worst case scinereos will truly work wonders, be my best start!
Let’s keep informing the people on how we need to ACT NOW,! (b4 we can not act) We must not be violent ourselves, but come together as 1, for us all, to keep our rights, freedoms, homes,ect. We need to rid those in office whom are not for the people, but personal agendas. There are police, many, all around our nation, killing unarmed people, even teens/WHOM ARE CHILDREN! WITH NO CONSEQUENCES EXCEPT A PAID VACATION, -a.k.a.- “paid administrative leave while investigation is being conducted”. Most are not fired, held accountable, charged or indicted! And I have no idea how our president has not been impeached! … What about when he took it upon himself to release/ or “exchange hostages” WITHOUT SOLE AUTHORITY TO DO SO! While he should have took no action, as the idea proposed had to be approved by congress … And the “exchange of hostage(s)” included 5 terrorist leaders in exchange for 1 prisoner from the US, taken approx 5-10years prior, whom was accused of being a traitor to US, just prior of being “taken hostage” years before. Obama felt it SO necissary to bring back & put on trial 1 whom allegedly switched sides while deployed over seas,that he- ILLEGALLY, (UNWANTED by most) FREEED TERRORIST LEADERS BACK overseas! … How was this done/allowed/unpunished& not spoken of much afterwards?!?!?! How are those actions done by the leader of our nation and that man is still the leader of our nation?! HOW DOES THE PROCESS OF IMPEACHMENT START?!- OR WHY WAS HE NOT “PUT ON PAID LEAVE WHILE INVESTIGATION CONDUCTED” OVER what I would think could be nothing shy of “aiding terrorists/making him #1 on suspected terrorist threat list?!?!?! Maybe I’m missing alot of info from my knowledge on this matter, idk. But the little info I saw 1st hand on news was that which I stated. WoW!!!! We gotta ensure equal rights, freedom to ALL , PEACEFUL, trustworthy, PLACE OF LIFE, for NATURE AND NATURAL GOODNESS of LIFE FOR OUR YOUTH!!! SUCCESS, MASS PRODUCTION, continued building/”growing of our sustainable future” is not a good thing, nor something we ‘d chose without “brainwashing” as a whole running our lives, along with many globally. It is a false “dream” / delusion of what “good life” is. It is presented, taught and trained into our children in all directions, starting before we even realize it. It was done to us too. Slowly, but surly, America is falling for all the tricks of evil doers, elite, controllers us and our country& lives and mental freedom/which is our lives! We’re being sent far from any real dreams, opportunities and possibilities of natural, good life, which includes a world for more than just greedy, war prone humans to destroy! As their plot continues to play out, we are not stopping it, nor are we acknowledging the big wrongs of the world. Us in US, are falling for scare tactics, which somehow are resulting in government tyranny acceptance, and in some cases even being tricked into thinking we requested and want this kind of “protection, which is to help us”/ a .k.a. slave us, dehumanize the population, remove values and morals & God from lives, existance… Ect. If one day that works completely, then they’ll probley remove all that was once, which was good, pure, real and of God, and it be removed from history. The same as many events in last 100 years have been removed/altered in the “facts” we’re drilled with growing up. Come on people! All we got a do is God’s’ will, remain humble, do for others, stop being selfish. Dont live for petty, useless, false happiness delusions that hold no value and do not last. God bless all! I just hope we all can get back right without violence to anything/anyone else. It solves nothing. It just is more death, on an already unhealthy planet in need ofnothing but love!
Don’t get rid of your wife! The whole point of prepping is to save your loved ones and help mitigate dire circumstances & keep your family safe and fed. The institute of marriage is a God honored institute just like it is to be prepared. Don’t lose sight of what is the most important thing (s) in your life. Educate your family just as many of you have already suggested. I know several people who prep and it’s interesting to me those that do are really good, law abiding-decent people. I feel blessed to have them around me as well as a husband who supports me. We must ban together quietly and with respect to a continuity of the American way of life that has been eroded. Don’t give up! We are here & must stick together. We are not some crazy group of people wishing harm on anyone. We just want to survive and thrive during a crisis. However; that doesn’t mean we are going to standby and do nothing when SHTF. God bless you all during these difficult times.
Dave in so Cal, interesting comments about the Dogs. While Operating in Northern Australia with Military, they were a constant problem. As if there weren’t enough “Natural” things wanting dinner at my expense.
I should think in a grid down scenario, they would become a serious problem fast. The worst ones we had dealings with were the “overnight release” from domestic dwellings. NO fear of humans and very confrontational.
Some of my family thought I was crazy for the longest. I’ve been trying to get them on board for several years now. When we were hit with a F1 tornado a couple of years ago (it brought a Hugh post oak tree into our house) it’s been a Lot easier getting them on board now. Lol When my oldest son was going to college he lost 1 of the 2 jobs he had and that opened his eyes quite a bit. I’ve told extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins etc) They need to prepare, because they wont be welcome here as our house will be full of our immediate family and we dont/won’t have any extra room. They either understand that and prepare themselves or they starve. Most get it. :)
I dont have the spouse or kids, I’m more of a quality vs quantity type and basically just 2 close friends at the moment (I do have some feelers out on some others). 1 was right with me from the start, with very little proding. The other i think still thinks I’m nuts at times.
Live in tornado land and lost power for almost 2 weeks once so I started there, that took care of short term preps. The long term preps idea took more time. I’m a person who doesnt give the government to much props and trust, I believe they may have plans for themselves as elites, and wouldnt surprise me if those plans excluded their spouse and children.
Anyways when i brought up civil unrest, economy collapse, terror/hackng of power grid etc. All i got was the government wont allow it. When i told him good chance the government will cause the reason to use preps he was like no way. What i think finally got to him was when i asked him if he ever thought he would live to see the day government forces us to allow boys and girls to use same bathroom and showers. Even then he was like how does this effect him, I was like you seriously dont see society breaking down all around us?.. I will say current events have made it where he doesnt look at me like i need commited as often. After Trump won he was like see, nothing going to happen. My preps have not slowed, if anything i kicked them up a notch.
I know this is a really old post, but. My spouse refuses to even let me prep. If I buy more than one pack of TP when we have 1 roll left in the house he says I am wasting money. I have tried to get him to understand using the methods above. He still insists, nothing is going to happen. It’s crazy talk.
Several months ago I brought up the topic of TEOTWAWKI with my older son, and expected a negative comment regarding my concerns, but instead he replied, “How could it not happen, Mom? We just have to look around and we can see what is happening’.
I don’t want to sound pathetic but i am very scared. I have been in the know of the coming pole shift for 8 years. I have tried telling people about it including members of my family just to have them turn around and call me crazy and laugh at me behind my back. I rarely talk about it anymore but its on my mind every single day. The hardest part is the fact that i know about it but am unable to do anything to try and save myself or my family. i don’t have the means or the help to try and build a bunker or move to a safer location. I know there has to be other people out there like myself that want to survive but r financially unable to. Does anyone out there know of any groups or places where ppl help ppl like myself? i have some assets to contribute but maybe joining up with others like myself will be better.
Why not start in family discussions with some very BASIC THINGS, eg, CPR, FIRST AID, AED, etc classes… then bring up full vaccinations — TDP, flu, pneumonia 13 & 23, shingles, etc & all pediatric thru college age shots for the children if any…
then self care — cooking, laundry, personal finance — things that leaving-home college students mostly have no idea on how to survive life 101!!
It is now 2023 and the world has completely changed for most of us. How has the unbelievable events occurring since 2020 altered your mindset, preparation, and lives? I’d wager most of us never imagined draconian lock downs, forced pokes to keep employment, travel, and attend school. Have you started, or drastically kicked up your preparing in the midst of events such as the insane weather like a tornado and numerous snowfall in CA?
My wife still denies there is any need for alarm. Sigh. At times it certainly feels like I am casting pearls before swine. We’ve experienced tornado warnings, blackouts, freezes, and other events. Yet despite it all, her stiff-neck prevails. I pray for the scales covering her eyes to be lifted. If you have a loved one who remains deceived, what have you done to awaken them?
Again today in 2023 we have multiple events that should give most people with a pulse to stop and think, we should prepare now! As of this post, I cannot imagine why people remain willfully blind. Since 2022, we have 100s of food production factories destroyed, numerous train derailments, the horrible Ohio chemical disaster, insane weather disasters, fentanyl crisis, southern border invasion, Great Reset, and looming war with CCP and Russia. So what have you done to awaken your loved ones since c19 to get their stubborn head out of the sand? I believe we are well-past the point of no return, things will never return to normalcy and will only worsen until complete collapse. What say you?
Macrossdyrl, Completely agree. Society is turning up-side-down quickly. Thankfully, husband, family, & some friends have the survival mindset. But let’s not forget, what is happening, and will happen, is foretold in the Bible. Pray, read & prepare!