Government warns of Zombie Apocalypse… Well Kind of….

The CDC want’s to know if you are ready for the coming Zombie Apocalypse!

  • Are you ready to defend yourself from crazy mindless flesh eating zombies?
  • Do you know how to survive a zombie attack?
  • Have you prepared yourself and your family to survive the coming Zombie Apocalypse?

Zombies

In the CDC’s latest attempt to scare the hell out of people, they’re now posting fictional blogs on surviving the “zombie apocalypse.”

The CDC article,written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan, says, “There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for, take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.”

While I have to admit, the whole zombie apocalypse thing is a pretty cool idea, but should the CDC be the ones delivering it?

The CDC says that the article is “tongue-in-cheek” and part of a larger campaign to help Americans prepare for disasters. While I’m all for helping people prepare for coming disasters, I’m not sure what to make of the CDC campaign.

A spokesman for the CDC said that the campaign is a direct result of people calling them with concerns over the radiation problems in Japan.

REALLY?

So instead of taking these people’s concerns seriously, they decided to make fun of them and put together a half-baked plan for emergency preparedness. So why do I say the plan is half-baked?

Well to be fair to the CDC, there are a couple good survival supplies mentioned in the article which can get you started. For that, I applaud them since most of Americans are not even prepared for a temporary power outage, let alone the zombie apocalypse. The article does mention a couple of the basics, such as water (a gallon a day per person), food, first aid supplies, and some basic tools — but what’s missing from the article is what could get you killed.

Where the hell are the weapons?

Tallahassee in Zombieland

This is the zombie apocalypse, right?

Yea, I know the article was rhetorical and meant to get people thinking about emergency preparedness, but I say again, WHERE THE HELL ARE THE WEAPONS?

Zombie Apocalypse or not, failing to mention the benefits of carrying a knife and a gun is just plain stupid. Yes, they do mention carrying a utility knife, but come on, what the hell is a utility knife going to do for you? When was the last time you seen someone build a shelter with a utility knife?

I know this is the U.S. government, but if the CDC really wanted to help people prepare for impending doom, they really went wrong by not mentioning the importance of weapons in a survival situation. From protecting your family to hunting for your next meal, having a knife and a gun is essential to your survival.

So when the CDC zombies are out there trying to build a shelter, make traps, or hunt for their next meal, I hope that utility knife comes in handy. But when they start to starve to death or get attacked by flesh eating zombies they better not come looking for me.

I’m going to living in luxury with a full belly full of food thanks to my rifle, my knives, and my zombie killing shotgun.

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15 Comments

  1. Okay, so the idea of zombies COMPLETELY terrifies me! But I think the media has totally messed up our versions of zombies. I watched an older black and white zombie movies, and they’re not scary at all. But all the zombie movies now?
    I don’t think zombies will become real. I think something weird will happen that is going to look like a zombie invasion.
    I think that, in 2012, some idiot is coing to dress a bunch of people like zombies, and the media is going to freak out, and make a huge deal out of it. We’re so scared about a zombie apocalypse- but what if it’s just all part of our imagination? I mean, of course it’s all made up.(in my opinion) But it’s really scary! Why would the media make this up??

  2. With everything that’s been happening in the last couple of weeks, we should really start to listen to those geeks!

  3. Ok this is what i got to say…..: I really think that the fact, story, whatever the shit about zombies is fake (the old times when the zombies use to come back to life from there graves)…… I think that its possible that terrorist or are own goverment can make biochemical weapon that can turn people crazy and like shut down arebrains and makes us not remember anything or anyone and makes super hungry and makes us litertly eat anything (turn us into cannibals) and no matter if its a family member of urs u just wont care and tear the person into pieces and eat them…. :/ if this thing happens were ganna have to make alot of sacrifices even if there a best friend, family member, or whoever is in problems…… Were ganna have to make alot of bad decisions (by bad i mean its something that u never done before like killing someone) even if u hate to do it…. Just kkep in mind that this shit is not to play with…. Its actually a very serious thing to disscus when it comes to biological weapons….. Its just how it is… Dont make fun of things that u dont know that could happen :/ if this happens u wont be saying that u arent scared or that u dont care cuz when the time comes u will be scared shitless and wont know what to do in a time of panic like that…… Im just saying i will be scared shitless and trust i wont lie but even if i have to ill cry because all of that suffering that the people will be having it will afect me… But ill try to be as strong as possible to protect my family and friends….. ask me anything if you want to I’ll respect anything you said justdon’t go hating on me because I know this will happen some day cuz theres alot of stuff out there that is unbelieveble ……. :/

    • so they can control what we think, buy, say,do!! In my opinion this will keep our minds busy & worried about zombies. So they can carry out all the secret agendas they are working on!!! If everyone is prepping for zombies & scared to death about that make believe B.S. that the gov. controlled media feeds us then we don’t have time to look at the real problems we are gonna have popping up unexpectedly!! gov. controlled media IS propaganda. look what hitler did with it! it is mind-control pure and simple!!! god bless us all!!!
      remember the movie outbreak? that was ebola right? that movie came out 5 or 10 years ago.now we are looking at the real thing. i dont want to scare anyone !! but the cdc, & all kinds of terrorists & nut jobs are setting on bio’s or in the act of developing them as i’m typeing this to you good luck & GOD BLESS EVERYONE!!!

  4. I think all of you are full of it with this zombie bull shit. Ill tell you wats really gona happen, Read revalations in the bible, yes there will be disasters, earthquakes, tornados, rain hail, radiation blast from a nuke, all of witch the govt will put people in camps those who do not except the mark of the beast.

  5. I dont think religion has shit to do with what is coming. I think our American government will end life on earth as we see it. And the zombie attack is not as hard to believe as the bible as the cathlics took out what all was in the bible and still do. The Christian religion is all based on lies and contradictions. I had the bible beat into my head as a kid I have seen shit from a really old bible that is not in any of the new bibles. Besides this is off the topic. Our government is only worried about one thing and one thing only these days and that is money. Greed is going to get the best of them and we will pay for it with our lives like we always do. Join the army or the air force fight for your freedom. We are not as free as you think we are. 9 11 was a government inside job there was no hijacking or the plains they where American air force plains and demolition team that planted bombs in the towers to make the fall. The government is against us not for us. I thought viral weaponry and researching viral weaponry was and is illegal. So why are we waiting money making viral weapons. So much stupid in America there really is.

  6. Zombies could be real in the futur. Right now if you believe there will be zombies, prepare, if it never happens you will have very good practice! If you don’t believe thay will come, and they do but didn’t practice, good luck by that time and protect your family… Pretect your enimies if not SO bad because that is all you will have unless you would rather partner up with a zombie. Also, whoever you trust best should have night shifts with you- EXAMPLE:Mom:10pm to 7am…the next night You:9:30pm to 7am.Next to do is listen carefully, take steps as if you were an ant(Like me for practice around the house), listen for screams, look for survivers, and be a hero to loved ones, friends, and yourself!
    P.S. I am saying this at the age of 12.

  7. I prepare for the zombie appocolipse cause its fun and gets me ready for basically everything other than a nuclear fall out. But my older brother made a good point to me when he said “We have made entire species and civilizations go extinct by accident. Why couldn’t we liqudize the zombie threat on purpose”

  8. i have to say u are right about the knife thing but in my house I don’t got a lil ass knife I have a knife that is 10 in and I have some other thing I can use I never wanna be in a group my family I hate some of them they really don’t care what I do im a solo and ill be a solo of a while in a zombie break out until I want to join a group I don’t think ill join a group I had played games of zombies all of my group members just get in the damn way if I played with my cousin that all only one person but he goes somewhere else cause I tell him. I never like to be in a group

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