Government warns of Zombie Apocalypse… Well Kind of….

The CDC want’s to know if you are ready for the coming Zombie Apocalypse!

  • Are you ready to defend yourself from crazy mindless flesh eating zombies?
  • Do you know how to survive a zombie attack?
  • Have you prepared yourself and your family to survive the coming Zombie Apocalypse?

Zombies

In the CDC’s latest attempt to scare the hell out of people, they’re now posting fictional blogs on surviving the “zombie apocalypse.”

The CDC article,written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan, says, “There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for, take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.”

While I have to admit, the whole zombie apocalypse thing is a pretty cool idea, but should the CDC be the ones delivering it?

The CDC says that the article is “tongue-in-cheek” and part of a larger campaign to help Americans prepare for disasters. While I’m all for helping people prepare for coming disasters, I’m not sure what to make of the CDC campaign.

A spokesman for the CDC said that the campaign is a direct result of people calling them with concerns over the radiation problems in Japan.

REALLY?

So instead of taking these people’s concerns seriously, they decided to make fun of them and put together a half-baked plan for emergency preparedness. So why do I say the plan is half-baked?

Well to be fair to the CDC, there are a couple good survival supplies mentioned in the article which can get you started. For that, I applaud them since most of Americans are not even prepared for a temporary power outage, let alone the zombie apocalypse. The article does mention a couple of the basics, such as water (a gallon a day per person), food, first aid supplies, and some basic tools — but what’s missing from the article is what could get you killed.

Where the hell are the weapons?

Tallahassee in Zombieland

This is the zombie apocalypse, right?

Yea, I know the article was rhetorical and meant to get people thinking about emergency preparedness, but I say again, WHERE THE HELL ARE THE WEAPONS?

Zombie Apocalypse or not, failing to mention the benefits of carrying a knife and a gun is just plain stupid. Yes, they do mention carrying a utility knife, but come on, what the hell is a utility knife going to do for you? When was the last time you seen someone build a shelter with a utility knife?

I know this is the U.S. government, but if the CDC really wanted to help people prepare for impending doom, they really went wrong by not mentioning the importance of weapons in a survival situation. From protecting your family to hunting for your next meal, having a knife and a gun is essential to your survival.

So when the CDC zombies are out there trying to build a shelter, make traps, or hunt for their next meal, I hope that utility knife comes in handy. But when they start to starve to death or get attacked by flesh eating zombies they better not come looking for me.

I’m going to living in luxury with a full belly full of food thanks to my rifle, my knives, and my zombie killing shotgun.

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25 Comments

  1. As I have been doing more research on this zombie apocalypse, I am very confused on the date it is suppose to occur. Is it December 21, 2012 or as I have also read May 21, 2011 and October 21, 2011? It is very scary because if it does happen in the next coming months we will have no time to prepare! If anyone finds out the best possible answer please submit it… Oh and also what weapon would be best to carry a .22 or a AK47?I ask this question because in an ak47 you can have more nock down power but carry less ammo and it is not that accurate either.. as in a .22 You can carry twice the amount of ammo but not have as much nock down power.. I just dont no which is better please any advice would be helpful.

  2. BVANZANT …LMFAO….your kidding rite…remeber this in the end you will be useing stone tipped arrows and cloves pointed spears no matter witch weapon you choose………

  3. I don’t know unless you have a musket or muzzle loader,and if you know the formula for gun powder,and are able to imprevise projectiles ,that would be the best bet,in my opinion,if you know how to make gunpowder,im not sure how to make gunpowder anyway.

  4. Uhh I meant when the plague first hits hopefully both of you have firearms in your house..because I dont think youll get very far with a musket or some spears…maybe 10 years down the road if you survive that long, ya then you will have to resort to those types of weapons but until then you could easily loot stores for ammo… I just meant which would be smarter to carry since I cant carry both..by the way I have both of these weapons… (ak47)-(.22 rifle).

    • with the right ammo. a semi auto .22 should do everything you will need from it!! plus it is quieter, lighter, i have a 10.22 ruger that i would trust in any jam, that is with zombies & such. if the problem is other people that have guns . looters,nuts who want to be kings, gov.,etc. then buy a single point tactical sling for your a.k. ,an ammo vest, & plenty of clips &ammo. that is one of the down falls with .22’s ammo. is hard to find and when you do you will pay dearly for it. i only hope that god calls all the christians home before this happens!! god bless i hope this helped you bvanzant

  5. he’ has got a point,but if you really want to know,i would go with a .22 semi auto,because you can stash 3 times as many bullets,they are i don’t know 20$ for a box of 500.And also I
    own guns,It is my Constitutional Right To bear arms.

  6. When it comes to evil crowds firearms are not the most ideal weapons, they attract attention! Good machette gets you far, rember Rwanda? No gas chambers or machine guns there. The mob did it all with machettes! A short spear with a cutting blade is also handy, even againt a larger opponet. Fire arms are good but loud and should be kept as a last ditch tool, or used when a tactical advantage is reached.

  7. listen,mikaoj,if this fantasy disaster actually happens i’m going to use a firearm because they are loud and i can have a tactical advantage at all times because zombies is a dead corpse it probably don’t know what a gun is!id shoot it from 15 feet rather than go at it with a machete.

  8. I, agree with ztar…he does have a point plus I wouldnt want to take the chance to get that close anyways..I think you have it mixed up firearm first then melee weapon..

  9. and mikaoj,a gun is not loud if you have a silencer.and the whole spear thing,the caveman use to use them to bleed out mammoths,there was no hit with a spear that took down a mammoth,it was all bleed out.i would not want a long pointy stick either ,i would use a musket,then when there is no way for me use the musket,which is if it mechanism fails.then ya maybe i would use a spear.

  10. its possible it could happen think about this a cow has mad cow diesece if that cow is made into a burger then someone eats the burger and get it they will turn crazy and start
    bitting people so they will infected and turn into canables

  11. Not, really if it ever happens it will most likely be because of some kind of biological warfare..not mad cow disease. And you are not thinking as broadly as you could, first off it will be a while before we will have to resort to muskets and spears trust me, that is even if your still alive so do not worry about that..just make sure you have some type of bug out bag and weapons and you should be fine since youll more than likley find stuff on the way..Dont be so scared that this controlles your life. I mean the chances of it happening soon are very slim.

  12. if it happens is slim to none,i would be more worried about the world being taken over by a superpower than zombies.

    • i think the super powers are gonna go under ground close their big steal doors and then let the rest of us fight zombies, each other etc. until all of us. zombies,people, good and bad kill each other off .once that is over they will come out & have the whole world to themselves!! plenty of land, and they are rid of the poor, the homeless, the people who support the bill of rights, oh i almost forgot the zombies. GOD BLESS US ALL!!!!!!!

  13. Just really think about it . It already happend to cow for some reason madcow ppl it’s coming sooner then you think.the the undead won’t stay a live long till the bring turns to mush . Where I live you can have a gun and keep in on you at all times without a gun lic. So I think the smart ppl will be ok just hope it happens iam ready for it all .

    • People all assume this is going to happen, this is all out of your TV, Walking dead, Left 4 dead, and stuff like that make people scared. and people need to realize we have a greater risk of small pox coming back than a Zombie apocalypse, smart people will realize that the world has nuclear bombs that can destroy the world, I would be more worried of some third world leader unleashing nuclear bombs on the world rather than a disease that came completely from TV . smart people can realize how stupid mass hysteria is.

      • That is not fully true there and we have already seen a zombie type attack the stupid American that ate the dudes face of when he was high on that bath salt shit from china or where ever maybe you need to wake up lmao

  14. My uncle has an arsenal in Indiana. Sadly I live in Arizona. But I would be prepaired with a few knifes, and a baseball bat. I would try to find some weapons with ammo. I will follow your advice as soon if this occurs, ever!

  15. Anyone that has any survival knowledge knows a .22 is the best weapon to have with you. It is a large enough caliper to hunt with, and protect yourself with if need be, and easy to carry thousands of rounds with adding a small amount of weight. With that in mind, if you are in a secluded area in the mountains or Canada, chances are you will be able to hunt or fish for food pretty easily, since in the event of a national disaster, most people in large cities will die do to the fact of mass panic. Having to only kill game for you and your family and defend against a stray human here and there, 5000 .22 rounds would last you a very long time. Think of all the outlaws hiding in the wilderness. It dosent take much to survive. It’s almost like an extended camping trip. It would also be a good idea to carry some pure silver, as this can be mixed with water and used to treat illness and injuries. It can also be used to purify water. A butane lighter with a dozen bottles of butane is a light and effective way to start fires for an extended period of time, but have a spare at your shelter incase you fall in a river. Electrical tape is also very useful. I would also recommend a few days supply of water. Three days without water, three weeks without food. The human body is meant to survive. If you push yourself, you will be just fine. Amazing what they teach you in the military.

  16. I’d rather let a zombie bite me, escape and complete the transformation rather than run around starving, hopeless and scared to death when 90% of the human population has been turned to zombies. I mean even if there’s a cure, would there even be enough for everyone? If there are weapons, how can we get our hands on them when there’s too much danger around? And eventually, food will run out.

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