Government warns of Zombie Apocalypse… Well Kind of….

The CDC want’s to know if you are ready for the coming Zombie Apocalypse!

  • Are you ready to defend yourself from crazy mindless flesh eating zombies?
  • Do you know how to survive a zombie attack?
  • Have you prepared yourself and your family to survive the coming Zombie Apocalypse?

Zombies

In the CDC’s latest attempt to scare the hell out of people, they’re now posting fictional blogs on surviving the “zombie apocalypse.”

The CDC article,written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan, says, “There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for, take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.”

While I have to admit, the whole zombie apocalypse thing is a pretty cool idea, but should the CDC be the ones delivering it?

The CDC says that the article is “tongue-in-cheek” and part of a larger campaign to help Americans prepare for disasters. While I’m all for helping people prepare for coming disasters, I’m not sure what to make of the CDC campaign.

A spokesman for the CDC said that the campaign is a direct result of people calling them with concerns over the radiation problems in Japan.

REALLY?

So instead of taking these people’s concerns seriously, they decided to make fun of them and put together a half-baked plan for emergency preparedness. So why do I say the plan is half-baked?

Well to be fair to the CDC, there are a couple good survival supplies mentioned in the article which can get you started. For that, I applaud them since most of Americans are not even prepared for a temporary power outage, let alone the zombie apocalypse. The article does mention a couple of the basics, such as water (a gallon a day per person), food, first aid supplies, and some basic tools — but what’s missing from the article is what could get you killed.

Where the hell are the weapons?

Tallahassee in Zombieland

This is the zombie apocalypse, right?

Yea, I know the article was rhetorical and meant to get people thinking about emergency preparedness, but I say again, WHERE THE HELL ARE THE WEAPONS?

Zombie Apocalypse or not, failing to mention the benefits of carrying a knife and a gun is just plain stupid. Yes, they do mention carrying a utility knife, but come on, what the hell is a utility knife going to do for you? When was the last time you seen someone build a shelter with a utility knife?

I know this is the U.S. government, but if the CDC really wanted to help people prepare for impending doom, they really went wrong by not mentioning the importance of weapons in a survival situation. From protecting your family to hunting for your next meal, having a knife and a gun is essential to your survival.

So when the CDC zombies are out there trying to build a shelter, make traps, or hunt for their next meal, I hope that utility knife comes in handy. But when they start to starve to death or get attacked by flesh eating zombies they better not come looking for me.

I’m going to living in luxury with a full belly full of food thanks to my rifle, my knives, and my zombie killing shotgun.

35 Comments

  1. Mick
    May 19, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    I’m not saying that a zombie invasion is on its way. but i do belive some type of distaster is forth coming in the US. I’m suprised about how much Ive been reading articles about this kind of stuff guess we better be prepared for what ever.

    ps this website is my homepage Love it !!

  2. Kloathis
    May 19, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    Well of course they aren’t gonna tell you about the benefits of being armed because then it will be that much more difficult to herd the ‘sheep’ into the FEMA camps!!!

    STAY ARMED AMERICA, when they come for your guns give it to them one round at a time!!! BTW Love the site!!

    • STUART
      May 18, 2012 at 12:54 pm

      YO U ARE RIGHT BE PREPERED

  3. Joe
    May 19, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    The fact that the CDC is getting on board makes me smile/laugh.

    In a real Zombie Apocalypse, the living dead will most likely be those who haven’t prepared, those who are walking around looking to take what they can from others or die trying.

    As I mentioned in a post over on my site a few weeks ago, the zombies may be your unprepared neighbors, the alcoholic/drug addict around the corner, or those who are just barely living within the confines of civility now.

    Frightening stuff, but that’s all the more reason to prepare for it.

    Joe

    • helen
      December 8, 2012 at 9:13 am

      So what you are saying is not only do we have to worry about Zombies, but we have to worry about DIRTY Zombies that may have HIV or Pee their pants…GROSS

  4. EcoGoth
    May 21, 2011 at 9:38 am

    OMG!
    At least i know that i am not the only one slightly concerned by the fact that they tell us to prepare for ZOMBIES!
    I mean if your going to be retorical. say bigfoot
    Seriously zombie movies are GREAT, but when you think about the concept its kinda scary.
    Expecially INFECTED zombies, which considering our goverments lack of consideration for conciquence. woudl be what happened.
    Infected zombies, mutate, can run. Its a genuanely scary idea.

    I mean realy these government people need to THINK!
    and i agree WTF is up with not mentioning guns!

    Cdc says, *mouchs them* if you get attacked by zombies just yell im prepared and maybe they will go away!
    WTF weapons america WEAPONS!

    • Dru
      March 4, 2012 at 9:43 am

      im not scared… i dont have much to live for.. im going into the army when i turn 18. i also have been diagnosed with depression.. so a little destroying of evil should be good for me.

  5. ztar
    May 21, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    really zombies? if they became real we could anilate them with all the explosives that are handy,guns,firecrackers oil,even flower and dry coffee creamer are explosive soooo im not worried, we anileted whole counties so destroying zombies if it happens is a what ever kinda deal;i will protect myself before i let anything try to kill me.

    • Chocomilko
      June 5, 2012 at 4:10 am

      Apparently you need to read “World War Z”

      • Stephanie
        March 3, 2013 at 1:37 pm

        Definitely.

  6. church
    May 24, 2011 at 11:30 am

    people wake up for real open your eyes and look around there is enough chemical and bacteria at the CDC in Atlanta GA.to wipe out the human spices twice over I’m talking ALL humans…survival of biologic is the end game …people please….ZOMBIES hooo DOOO….

  7. walker
    June 1, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    you both are right, if it did happen we would win yet we have so many chemicals we could die

  8. ztar
    June 2, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    or the chemical could turn people into zombies

    • FLUFFOO
      June 11, 2012 at 2:21 am

      i agree i mean come on im sure the governments will result to chemicle soon enough and all those different chemicles mixed into one big explosion no telling what the side affects will be with the survivors

  9. Spencer@SW|Gerber Knives
    June 9, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    I wouldn’t be afraid of a situation like this. If you’ve read into anything dealing with citizens owning weapons, you might have seen that just 4 of our 50 states in the US have more registered hunters and gun owners than any other country has soldiers! It’s as if we have a gun behind every blade of grass.

    I think we’re good.

  10. Salvador
    June 11, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    I really dont think north america would be in any danger, (north america meaning Mexico, U.S.A and Canada, put together i think we all have more guns than the European Union, plus that’s when the latinos will shine through everywhere!!

  11. Denae
    June 15, 2011 at 10:28 am

    By ZOMBIES they mean the people who are not prepared what so ever and are willing to kill you and yoiur family to take what you have! Its either you or them WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

  12. church
    June 15, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    ZOMBIES ….OK…..I’m going to move to either Canada or Los Angeles…if I gotta get bitten i want it to either be by a bear or a blonde…..

    • helen
      December 8, 2012 at 9:14 am

      So you are Bisexual…

  13. Bill
    June 16, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    North America is not Mexico, Survival will depend on where you are at and who and there mind set is around you. Like minded people who work together to protect and grow food and clean water are going to be ahead. If things get bad enough other groups that survive will be harder core, the longer the harder, Groups working to protect each other stand a better chance, also with skills, some one knowing how and having a forge to make metal instruments will be a god sent, some with some one having a well and pump for pure water with out treatment, a group harvesting food, as in large gardens or fields, grain, livestock, large scale hunting will wipe out game in a hurry, surprising just how efficient chickens can be, eggs and meat. So if a group survives there will be other groups that have survived coming in and taking from others and there you have your zombies. A 22 is better then nothing, easy to carry a lot of shells for. will kill all North American game with a well placed round, A high power will do so from father out and with more certainty. Shotguns for moving targets, work well for any zombies too with the right shot load or close enough, #9 shot will make a big hole from several yards away. so skills from the old world are important and so are there tools, any one know how to make leather from animal hides, grow food, take care of live stock? build things like barrels or wheels, maybe produce electricity for a electric welder or know how to use a coal forge to work iron? 12 volt lighting for a home, using a old alternator and battery powered by wind, running water, a bicycle? food drying or smoking, canning, all helps in quality of life, those who can and do store the right how to books will have a place. and for how long, how long before the electric power comes back on, the sanitary running water, sewer? City’s will not be the place for long term and the country cant handle for masses unless very will organized and prepared, how do you cut and thrash grain for a number of people or even your family? best look at methods and tools used in the 1850 to 1920 time from for a bit. hope all comes back soon but with a EMP look then to the 1850’s and learn how they lived, you may have to weave your own cloth, make your own cloths, shoes, make your own leather, raise bees, chickens, beef or goats, maybe be lucky enough to raise a few horses maybe even work horses, or prepare and be able to produce your own fuel for that tractor or truck. Hydrogen works and if you set up now will work, Propane set ups for tractor or truck and change the jet. and If you have it there will be some lazy ass who will come and try to take it by force. or some ass who comes along and wants to be part of it but wants to be boss. either way you lose or they do. decide! know those what will stab you in the back. Know those who will bring in others to help them out who will over whelm your ability to produce food or water and know how to deal with it. Purely breeders and eaters are a problem, Problems must be eliminated! Even the area around you must be protected, or your hunting areas will be wiped out, starving with hands out once fed will and strengthened will come to take what you have later. always remember that. Never trust a Mexican, they never have and never will be able to build any thing on there own, they have to come and illegally invade this country to gain a foot up at our expense and loss of jobs Our social systems to care for there over breeding and medical care and food and housing now and all else, this will not change! Remember it. As proven in the 1850’s there is where a knife in the back is most watched for, again remember this!

  14. ztar
    June 18, 2011 at 12:08 am

    bill,you mean illegal mexicans right, i know plenty of hard working mexicans who have never had the goverment hold their hand,its just a misconception that all mexicans are lazy,theyre not,alot of them worked super hard to get were they are now.

  15. Joe Burge
    June 19, 2011 at 6:40 am

    Biological Weapons
    As a scientist, and a practical-minded person, I can tell you that several “persons” are sitting around with a freezer full of nasty little germs just waiting for their moment. And you know the military has been playing war-games with biological scenarios for decades. If anything precipitous should happen, and human survival is in question, there are about 5.5 billion too many humans, and a bug is a much easier way to eliminate them.
    There is not going to be any conventional warfare with guns and bullets. Someone is going to un-cork a flask and wipe out more people than has ever been dreamed of before.
    It may not be a true “zombie” scenario, more like Stephen Kings ‘The Stand’, except someone will release the bug intentionally, and a lot of people will die. the only question will be who will survive and will there be enough infrastructure for them to survive?

    • ZaK
      December 7, 2012 at 4:46 am

      Joe I totally agree… there are some evil minds out there and they are just plotting and waiting.. I hate to name names but a certen (class) of people would love nothing more then to watch you starve to death as long
      as there pockets and bellies are full. the people who are going to suffer the worst are the hard working Americans that still believe in the constitution but are to hard headed to listen to the truth… there will be a mass disaster and our own “brothers” are going to be the blame. depopulation is the name of the game for these guys and the wheels are already in motion… fuck 12/21/12 look around you..its already over.

  16. church
    June 20, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    Mr. bill is correct you all had better listen to him.!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. N
    June 21, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    OMG! Joe, is right. You may need a gun to shoot game, if you survive. But it’s unlikely many will. The Zombie virus scenario pushes the concept to the absurd, of course. However, the death rate will be real, planned and intentional.

  18. Rosie Parish
    June 23, 2011 at 8:01 pm

    I believe what everyone is saying. There is a coming danger.
    So take my advice and turn your lives over to Jesus Christ and live for him. Because the true Christians will be taken out of this sick world before all this disasters comes to the earth.
    Read the last book of the Bible it’s all there.

    • Michael D. Cox
      June 15, 2012 at 8:12 am

      I agree with you Rosie… we have been warned for thousands of years…

      • z
        September 22, 2012 at 3:15 pm

        …SERIOUSLY…if gods in control of every thing, why would he let the outbreak start in the first place?!?!!!

        • helen
          December 8, 2012 at 9:18 am

          Because no one does what he says. Even the people who are supposedly religious conform his words for their own benefit. It says to cover your hair in the Bible. So how many Christian women in USA do that huh? In Australia they do though.

        • josh
          March 20, 2013 at 1:29 am

          Because we all have failed god and he is just watching us destroy our planet and everyone on it. He gave us free will we use it for more than we should and use god as a crutch instead of as a leader or higher power. Here is a good question for you. Why do people go out every night get drunk or what ever you do and then go to church and pray and ask forgiveness and turn around ad do the same shit. Cause you dont want forgiveness you are there cause there is nothing better to do on Sunday. That is not what god wants. Learn from your sins and better them stupid America.

          • Nick
            August 5, 2014 at 8:32 pm

            So you are saying that you follow everything the bible says? So when’s the last time you stoned a homosexual or any adulterers? Ever have your town kill your kid when they don’t obey you? Of course you did. The bible is a Bronze Age book , you can’t apply a Bronze Age book to the 21st century because our understanding is beyond that of the primitive idiots who wrote and believed the bible. Sorry for turning this into a religious debate

        • knightrider
          December 18, 2014 at 7:43 am

          READ REVELATIONS FRIEND IT’S THE LAST BOOK OF THE BIBLE! GOD SAYS THAT THE DEAD WILL RISE!! I PRAY THAT PEOPLE WILL GET THEIR HEARTS RIGHT WITH JESUS CHRIST!! READ THE BOOK IT TELLS EVERYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING NOW & WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE OR WHAT IS LEFT OF IT!! MY PERSONAL BELIEF IS THAT YOU BETTER HUMBLE YOURSELF & GET YOUR HEART RIGHT WITH JESUS CHRIST!!! PLEASE PEOPLE SO FAR EVERYTHING THAT HAS BEEN FORETOLD IN THE BIBLE HAS BEEN ACCURATE!! PLEASE DON’T WAIT UNTIL IT’S TO LATE!! GOD IS WAITING ON YOU IT’S YOUR MOVE!! IF I’M WRONG WHAT HAVE YOU LOST? NOTHING & TRUST ME ON THIS ONE I’M NOT !!! GOD BLESS US ALL AMEN!!!

  19. BVANZANT
    June 24, 2011 at 7:21 pm

    I agree with everyone also. There is something coming definitley all the signs,and what not is pretty scary. But whats even scarier is how many people will not be ready for any apocaliptic event no matter if it is zombies or not..even though I have faith in my god, and I beleive every time someone predicts the coming of days,god just moves the date farther down the calender..but aside from that, if it does happen life will never be the same, and we will realize we did not appreciate all the extra neccesities and items we have now. People will kill over the stuff we throw away today..it is sad but very true. It is not a matter of will it happen, but when it will happen. One important bible verse always reminds me just to keep going. Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your shaft, they comfort me… that is what will remind me to never give up…

    • knightrider
      December 18, 2014 at 7:50 am

      THAT IS MY FAVORITE PSALM . JUST WISH MORE PEOPLE HAD FAITH IN GOD!!! THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BELIEVE UNLESS THEY CAN SEE,FEEL TOUCH,HEAR OR SMELL. WELL THE WIND BLOWS BUT YOU CAN’T SEE IT. DOES THAT MEAN IT’S NOT THERE? GOD BLESS

  20. ztar
    June 25, 2011 at 2:55 am

    well,there is not many people prepared and anyone who says they are completely prepared,is a liar,i can say im prepared,but not for evrything,i’ll say this ,I will try do anything to survive,any diasaster,but I cant be prepared for evrything.

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